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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Michelle Bachmann is an idiot...hypothetically

Picking on Michelle Bachmann is almost like picking on the nerdiest kid in the school. It's wrong but dammit, I can't help myself. At least the school nerd played to character. Michelle Bachmann believes that she would make a great President. She has absolutely zero self awareness,' spouting nonsenseand still believing she is the smartest woman in the room because only she has the genius to say what she just said.

I've known too many women who need a barrow load of psych meds and tranquilizers to make it through the day. They have a semi-glazed, deer in the headlights look that I see on Bachmann. It doesn't take more than a few minutes of watching her know something is out of whack in there. At least we only see her in full makeup when she looks pretty to arouse a good portion of Republican manhood as well as Herman Cain. Poor Marcus, her husband has to see her when she wakes up sans the layers of her public face.

I suspect one of his other jobs is to keep all her meds in order, which must be a living hell.
He has a Ph. D in Clinical Psychology which does allow him to write a script or two. That combination has caused him to turn to his Christian counselling group, Bachmann & Associates which is just a front company for their version of God and how to guide troubled people. His is from Union Institute University, a long distance learning college which is the bullshitters way of saying 'online college'. A little research revealed that the Union didn't offer a Ph.D in clinical psychology at the time he was there and that the entire Ph. D program had to be dissolved and reauthorized by the state of Ohio some years after Graduated.

Nonetheless his Ph.D allows him to suck in a regular stream of State and Federal money while his wife lambasts just that in her political theatrical appearances. Bachmann & Assiciates also prays the gay away. An undercover team filmed them doing just that but there is evdience that the undercover specifically requested the 'pray away the gay' treatment.

Nonetheless, knowing The Bachmann's. one can only assume something strange is going on there.

Back to the mind of Michelle. Despite lingering in the polling netherworld she can still come up with a zinger and at least get some minor headlines; the liberal brogs love to pounce on Bachmann and her dwindling band giving opportunity to whine about how nasty and viscous those liberal people are.

Today she made the headlines inadvertently. After Britain's little to-do with some Iranian students Bachmann was reported to have said that if she were President she would close the U.S. Embassy in Iran. It came from an NBC News tweet. We haven't had an embassy Iran since 1980.

There have been rumors abounding that Bachmann barely had a functioning Press team left. Most of them seem to have buggered off after having to explain yet another brain fart. By the end of the evening they pushed a release from under the door.

“Congresswoman Bachmann is a member of the House Select Committee on Intelligence and is fully aware that we do not have an embassy in Iran and have not had one since 1980. She was agreeing with the actions taken by the British to secure their embassy personnel and was speaking in the hypothetical, that if she was President of the United States and if we had an embassy in Iran, she would have taken the same actions as the British. Her remarks are being taken out of context, given that she has spoken on this subject several times in the past 24 hours and made it clear that she knew we did not have an Iranian embassy

The "When I'm President" bit of her statement is hypothetical to the 20th power. The release goes on use the usual Obama Derangement Syndrome boileplate; it's all the Muslin Sosulusts fault.

Just another gaffe for Michelle.

Then there is the well reasoned policy point rather than the spontaneous idiot gaffe. that requires thought; idiot doesn't work for that so they have to go to the 'full moron' because it's always wrong on so many levels.

When Michelle Bachman claimed during one debate she has always worked in the private sector, she was speaking hypothetically so all of it was taken out of context.

For the record, Bachmann because a Lawyer for the IRS and is rumored to have handled at least one case in about five years. She retired, wanting to keep her almost perfect record to temporarily adopt every kid from 3-13 from a mid sized African nation to burnish her humanitarian resume. She then went on to be the perpetual Congresswoman from Minnesota. It's possible she imagined she was 'working in the private sector' during her monthly sexual assignation with Marcus.

She also went into full moron mode this afternoon, claiming that teaching only evolution in school is censorship climaxing with the 'anyway, it's only a theory' dismissal which is so moronic only a moron can harrumpph quietly thinking they have completely out though their wily opponent. Hey moron, gravity is still regarded as a 'theory' in the scientific world. My theory that your dumber than a box of rocks doesn't quality.

It's not easy being Bachmann, especially now that she's too deep in the spotlight. The early classic, when Bachmann ran screaming into the toilet and locked herself to escape 3 Nuns who just wanted to talk to.

Then there is the 'bat shit crazy' Bachmann. If the Coen Brothers ever made a film on LSD, Bat Shit Crazy Bachmann would be perfect for a significant if not leading role. Witness a week ago.
In a speech in Iowa she claimed that during a previous speech a 7 ft 4 inch doctor had stood up at a town hall meeting and claimed that he couldn't perform any medical procedure before getting permission from the IRS because of Obamacare.

How Sasquatch became a licensed doctor in Minnesota is a bit of a mystery itself but that Sasquatch had to deal with the IRS? A sane Bachmann would have said, 'thank's for the input, if you need to, I've got some extra meds you can have on the way out.

Nope, Instead she believes it, swallows it completely, taking Sasquatch at his world and a new lie for the simple minded is born. This gives me an idea. All I need is her direct e-mail. I'll tell how much I'm behind her and how she's the perfect person for the job and then it er with the Ngerian letter. Hey, it's free Nigerial Federal money, even better. Go Get It!

She will be gone from the election soon and we will miss her.

She does 'dumb' with panache. She would be perfect for a sad, cynical midwestern family drama mixing 18th century thinking with 21st century psych meds.

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